Friday, March 7, 2008

What Your College Doesn't Tell You on that Tour Group

OK, since I go to a college that spends more money on re-sodding their main quad than on more pertinent things I thought I would share a few thoughts:
-That main quad that looks "really beautiful" come spring break time when most seniors are taking college tours will look like shit for 4/5ths of the school year. This is because colleges don't invest in what is called drainage in most parts of the world. This ruins the grass every year, and Duke loves to spend upwards of thousands of dollars just to reseed and resod the whole campus.

-That wireless that's all over campus? It doesn't work half the time when you're on the third floor of your dorm. Oh, and forget the ethernet. But it gets even better. I had somebody explain the campus wireless to me in this way: "You know those Christmas lights that when one light goes out they all go out? Yea, that's how the wireless network works in a storm." Awesome, Duke!

-If somebody is paying $42000 a year to go to Duke, you would think they would give us something for free. Alas, I can count on a hand all the free things that Duke has given exclusively to me:
-several T-shirts
-a Devil rubber duckie

-I don't know whether it's a Southern thing or not, but I have yet to find a viable and healthy option that I can eat at on a daily basis. My coronary arteries are filled with sweet and sour pork and pan-fried dumplings at the moment. Life expectancy before going to Duke: 77. After: 32.

Go to Hell, Carolina, Go to Hell

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