Thursday, October 22, 2009

SEC = Soap opEra Conference?

What the heck is wrong with the SEC? You'd think that the strongest conference in college football would have it together. Apparently, they don't:

Kicking Controversy
Steve Spurrier complained that the Alabama kicker was using tape to spot his kicks, which is a 5-yard penalty. This is not news, but pretty much any time an SEC coach says something that will get a couple rednecks riled up, it's going to be on ESPN. The highlight of this article is the sixth paragraph: "'We certainly don't want our players to do anything that's illegal,' Saban said. 'It is a 5-yard penalty if you do anything to enhance the spot. We've done some research on it, and over half the teams in the league do something with it.'" OK, so Saban says, "hey, we are against this illegal stuff, but everyone else does it, so it should be alright if we do it." Cool.
Side note: is it even worth responding to a coach who didn't even fill out his own all-conference ballot?

Lame-o Refs
I don't know how to respond to this one. I mean, are your refs really so clueless that they can't distinguish when it's OK to throw a game altering 15 yard flag. Everyone knows that you don't throw a flag when the game is on the line unless it's really obvious. Or unless it's a really dumb call.
In case you're wondering what all these rednecks are so worked up about, here is a video of the play. Watch the left side of the screen about 8-12 seconds in.

And I'm sure there's more SEC drama going on, but I don't feel like poking around for it. I just like thinking about how hilarious it would be to coach an SEC team. You coach one of the best programs in the nation, but you also get a side job as a high school girl. Totally!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Crazy Much?

Maryland gym patron declares war on Fox News --

Posted using ShareThis

OK. This lady has so many problems, I don't know where to start. Let's start with the most obvious: pretty much everyone who has ever been to a gym knows that nobody really gives a damn what you want to watch. If they did, they would have given you a remote. It's funny that they noted this in the article, as apparently she has complained to the entire Columbia Association, but no one really seems to care.

We also see that the article notes that there are other rowing machines which face TVs that are tuned to other stations. However, one of two things prevents this woman from switching machines. First, the other machines are so crappy that it's not worth switching (not likely at a facility of Supreme Sports' caliber). Or, this woman is so idiotic that she would rather go through the effort of complaining to everyone she finds, including the media, than take the logical step of switching to another machine.

Then come the silly quotes:
"I literally just close my eyes, but the problem I have frankly is, I see out of the corner of my eye. You can't help peeking."
What? I'm just picturing this woman happily rowing with her eyes closed and then suddenly turning into the incredible hulk because she has less self-discipline than a six year old on Christmas morning. On a side note, how do you see out of the corner of your eye if your eyes are closed?

Geddes also has a ready answer for anyone who accuses her of censorship.
"They won't show the Playboy channel," she points out. That could be considered censorship, too.
Again, what the hell are you talking about? First of all, who the hell works out and thinks to themself, "you know what would make this workout even better? Porn." Second, everyone knows that Playboy Channel is on super premium cable and no gym shells out for premium cable, mainly because only crazy people actually care about what's on the TVs.

But she acknowledges one positive benefit to staring at Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity against her will. Facing Fox News, she said, "does make me exercise harder."
How clever. I completely forgot about what a nutcase you are cuz of that hilarious joke at the end. Way to go.