Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Crazy Much?

Maryland gym patron declares war on Fox News --

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OK. This lady has so many problems, I don't know where to start. Let's start with the most obvious: pretty much everyone who has ever been to a gym knows that nobody really gives a damn what you want to watch. If they did, they would have given you a remote. It's funny that they noted this in the article, as apparently she has complained to the entire Columbia Association, but no one really seems to care.

We also see that the article notes that there are other rowing machines which face TVs that are tuned to other stations. However, one of two things prevents this woman from switching machines. First, the other machines are so crappy that it's not worth switching (not likely at a facility of Supreme Sports' caliber). Or, this woman is so idiotic that she would rather go through the effort of complaining to everyone she finds, including the media, than take the logical step of switching to another machine.

Then come the silly quotes:
"I literally just close my eyes, but the problem I have frankly is, I see out of the corner of my eye. You can't help peeking."
What? I'm just picturing this woman happily rowing with her eyes closed and then suddenly turning into the incredible hulk because she has less self-discipline than a six year old on Christmas morning. On a side note, how do you see out of the corner of your eye if your eyes are closed?

Geddes also has a ready answer for anyone who accuses her of censorship.
"They won't show the Playboy channel," she points out. That could be considered censorship, too.
Again, what the hell are you talking about? First of all, who the hell works out and thinks to themself, "you know what would make this workout even better? Porn." Second, everyone knows that Playboy Channel is on super premium cable and no gym shells out for premium cable, mainly because only crazy people actually care about what's on the TVs.

But she acknowledges one positive benefit to staring at Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity against her will. Facing Fox News, she said, "does make me exercise harder."
How clever. I completely forgot about what a nutcase you are cuz of that hilarious joke at the end. Way to go.