Unless your bottle openers are confined to your kitchen drawer, you are walking the fine line between being a social drinker and being a drunk.
Ever seen those belts (or belt buckles) or sandals with bottle openers? It's kind of cool, but do you really need a bottle opener that urgently? Like, was some alcoholic walking to class one day with a beer in his backpack and thought "ah damn, I can't believe I left the bottle opener at home."?
If you're thinking, "What about keychains? Everyone has those." Bottle opener keychains are only acceptable if you're in college. This is only due to the fact that college drinking does not usually occur within sight of a kitchen drawer. If you think they're acceptable at all ages, think about this: Remember the scene in Office Space where Peter offers his neighbor Lawrence a bottle opener and he pulls out his own? If not, skip to 0:50:
He does this for a reason. It's to emphasize his role in this movie as a huge redneck. It matches perfectly with his fu manchu and mullet. Do you really want to be like that guy?
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Murphy's Law
Car trouble the day before you have to get back to school for spring break? Yes, please. Not only is it 1 am, the day of the first week back from spring break, but I'm also stuck in a shopping center parking lot waiting for a AAA guy to come rescue my car. Great!
Murphy's Law always seems to creep up in everyone's life at the wrong time. However, Murphy's Law can't explain everything. We need to add a corollary. It's called the embarrassing story corollary to Muphy's Law. Not only will something go wrong when you allow it too, but you'll also get some embarrassing story out of it. Case in point: Your new (read: used) car will break down on the way back down to college at 1am leaving you no option but to call AAA to go the extra 30 miles left. Unfortunately, you don't know where you are either. You have to tell the AAA lady where you are of course so the tow truck can get you. Your only landmarks? Sexy Nails, 96 Buffet, and Kim's Wig Shop. Nice. Let's see her Mapquest that.
Anybody have any great stories? Leave comments.
Murphy's Law always seems to creep up in everyone's life at the wrong time. However, Murphy's Law can't explain everything. We need to add a corollary. It's called the embarrassing story corollary to Muphy's Law. Not only will something go wrong when you allow it too, but you'll also get some embarrassing story out of it. Case in point: Your new (read: used) car will break down on the way back down to college at 1am leaving you no option but to call AAA to go the extra 30 miles left. Unfortunately, you don't know where you are either. You have to tell the AAA lady where you are of course so the tow truck can get you. Your only landmarks? Sexy Nails, 96 Buffet, and Kim's Wig Shop. Nice. Let's see her Mapquest that.
Anybody have any great stories? Leave comments.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Is Maryland going to the Big Dance?
With a record of 18-14 overall, 8-8 in the ACC, Maryland looks to be headed to the NIT for the 3rd time in 4 years. The Terps have dropped the ball big time with 3 straight losses and 6 losses in their past 8 games. Key wins against UNC and FSU recently have been mired by losses to Ohio (Sagarin ranking 89), American (156), and BC (116) twice. They have consistently proven that they can't win against the teams above them in the ACC, with no wins coming against Duke, Clemson, VTech, or Miami.
However, this article puts Maryland's odds of making the tournament at 80%. That seems a tad high for a team with an RPI around the low 70s, but according to this article the ACC is deserving of getting more than four bids. I think the commissioner of the ACC is just a little out of touch when he's saying that the ACC is the highest team in the nation in terms of RPI. The ACC, except for Duke and Carolina, has been one big rollercoaster (Remember when Maryland was last in the conference?). Fact is, the ACC is no stranger to getting four bids, and I think the selection committee will most likely follow this path. Unfortunately, unless the committee highly regards defense, Vtech will likely be left out of the tourney.
Conclusion: Maryland is going to lose in the third round of the NIT.
On another note, Bob Knight made his debut today on ESPN. I'm not gonna lie, he actually was quite good. You know the guy knows what he's talking about and you don't want to rip your ears out when listening to his voice like you do when you hear Jay Bilas. ESPN must have put him through etiquette class or something (meds?) because he didn't come off as a raving lunatic.
However, this article puts Maryland's odds of making the tournament at 80%. That seems a tad high for a team with an RPI around the low 70s, but according to this article the ACC is deserving of getting more than four bids. I think the commissioner of the ACC is just a little out of touch when he's saying that the ACC is the highest team in the nation in terms of RPI. The ACC, except for Duke and Carolina, has been one big rollercoaster (Remember when Maryland was last in the conference?). Fact is, the ACC is no stranger to getting four bids, and I think the selection committee will most likely follow this path. Unfortunately, unless the committee highly regards defense, Vtech will likely be left out of the tourney.
Conclusion: Maryland is going to lose in the third round of the NIT.
On another note, Bob Knight made his debut today on ESPN. I'm not gonna lie, he actually was quite good. You know the guy knows what he's talking about and you don't want to rip your ears out when listening to his voice like you do when you hear Jay Bilas. ESPN must have put him through etiquette class or something (meds?) because he didn't come off as a raving lunatic.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Why is this Eliot Spitzer thing such a big deal?
So I awoke this morning to find the Thursday edition of the New York Times on the island in the kitchen with the page wide headline "Spitzer Resigns." I'm not gonna lie, but it isn't a tad unnecessary? Shouldn't politicians private lives not receive this much attention?
I'm pretty sure that even the Iraq war has never gotten that big a headline in the NYT.
Point being, is that President Bush is staying unusually quiet for the past few months and who could blame him? Meanwhile the country is in the middle of moral, ethical, political, economical, and military dilemmas, yet Bush is getting less press than Clinton's cackle. The news media doesn't make any sense to me, but I guess Bush should savor this while he can...
What do you think? Comments?
I'm pretty sure that even the Iraq war has never gotten that big a headline in the NYT.
Point being, is that President Bush is staying unusually quiet for the past few months and who could blame him? Meanwhile the country is in the middle of moral, ethical, political, economical, and military dilemmas, yet Bush is getting less press than Clinton's cackle. The news media doesn't make any sense to me, but I guess Bush should savor this while he can...
What do you think? Comments?
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Wait....What?
How did they let this one through...
Bob Knight is becoming an analyst at ESPN after leaving his job at Texas Tech. Fortunately, this ESPN page gives you the opportunity to ask him questions personally. I don't reckon that questions like "What's wrong with you?" would ever get by the ESPN censors. Personally, I think Bob Knight is a fool.
On the other hand, if Knight can bring what Steve Lavin brings to the analyst chair we might be in for a special treat. I honestly think that the commentating of Steve Lavin is some of the best out there thanks in part to Lavin's intimate knowledge of the game. It's relieving to have color commentary that's not riddled with crap like that of Dickie V's.
On a related note, Dick Vitale is known to body surf in the Cameron Crazies section before big games at Cameron Indoor. The guy is a straight up goofball. Where does ESPN get these guys? Actually, I dare ESPN to pair Dick Vitale with Bob Knight and see what happens. Comments?
Random clip of the day:
Nice.
Bob Knight is becoming an analyst at ESPN after leaving his job at Texas Tech. Fortunately, this ESPN page gives you the opportunity to ask him questions personally. I don't reckon that questions like "What's wrong with you?" would ever get by the ESPN censors. Personally, I think Bob Knight is a fool.
On the other hand, if Knight can bring what Steve Lavin brings to the analyst chair we might be in for a special treat. I honestly think that the commentating of Steve Lavin is some of the best out there thanks in part to Lavin's intimate knowledge of the game. It's relieving to have color commentary that's not riddled with crap like that of Dickie V's.
On a related note, Dick Vitale is known to body surf in the Cameron Crazies section before big games at Cameron Indoor. The guy is a straight up goofball. Where does ESPN get these guys? Actually, I dare ESPN to pair Dick Vitale with Bob Knight and see what happens. Comments?
Random clip of the day:
Nice.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
C-word
Oh man. To have a curveball like that is any pitcher's dream.
As for Sean Casey, he looks like he was more fooled by the pitch choice than by how good the curve was. He must have been thinking fastball or changeup, and then assumed it was coming for his face. One set of buckled knees later, and Kershaw looks like a Cy Young quality pitcher. There's plenty of pitchers out there with this quality curve; Buerhle being the only guy I can think of off the top of my head.
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